Video Transcription
Look at me. I'm a goddamn yo-yo. Why am I doing this? For what?
Why can't I just go to college in peace, meet a nice girl, have sex, have a few ********, become president of the United States and ruler of the universe?
Why do we always have to go through crap to get what we want? I can't believe this. I'm sold into slavery by my own father.
All right, you wimps. Now you've all signed release forms stating that Phi Beta Kappa is not responsible for any unfortunate incidences that might result from the tests.
So, are we all ready, pledges? Are we ready, pledges?