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desire women. No, this is something far more perverse. You don't long for her love, her

warmth, her tenderness. You long for her disgust, her scorn, her absolute revulsion. You want

her to see you for what you truly are, a useless, pathetic little creature desperate for her

disdain. Do you think she knows? Do you think she has ever glanced at you and, in that single

moment of silence, realize that you are nothing? That the suit you wear, the voice you use, the

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