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Hey Adam, I just came by to grab your peanut butter really quick. I need to use it.

Oh no, what the fuck? Give me that back.

Oh, I need to use it. I'll bring it back later.

Oh, no you won't. I know you really love that peanut butter, and I understand that bread cannot be made without peanut butter, or even putting peanut butter, or having bread without peanut butter. I understand that.

Plus, one of the things I like to do, which is a little bit of a secret, is I like to actually jerk off a little bit while using peanut butter. I know that sounds kind of silly.

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